If you have ever traveled to certain misinformed corners of the internet, you are probably familiar with the argument that libertarians – specifically fans of Ayn Rand – make terrible partners because they are (obviously) inherently selfish. While I am sure there are libertarians who are truly revolting people, it is not their ideology that caused them to become repugnant. In my experience, libertarian relationships are surprisingly wonderful in at least nine ways:
1. Your relationship has been different (magical) from the very beginning. Your first conversation started something like: “excuse me, are you reading Sal Alinsky?”
Brb, I have to go get new dreams because mine just came true
2. Conversations like this one are routine and totally acceptable:
“I am starving – can we please go get food now? What is taking so long?”
“Yes, we can go soon, just one more minute. I am arguing with an idiot on Twitter about immigration.”
Hello, I see that you’re actually stupid.
3. All of your friends are proud and self-proclaimed anarcho-capitalists, and you find that your interactions with “normal” people become increasingly more awkward as you struggle to find topics that interest them.
Oh ok, I’ll just leave you alone forever now…
4. Fun weekend activities include attending conferences and lecture circuits. Maybe you will also spend your birthday knocking doors for a “true liberty” candidate. This is normal behavior that should be encouraged.
We are changing the world! ‘Merica yeah!
5. When you fight, it is always over small differences in philosophy. These fights dissipate quickly and always end with looking at GIFs of cats, and secretly thinking your significant other will eventually realize she/he has been wrong all along.
who cares if we fight about GMOs every time we buy lettuce?
6. Your significant other changes their profile picture from one of the two of you to one of Ron Paul, and you feel pride instead of sad feels.
that’s my man!
7. You’re significant other understands how excited you are to spend Valentine’s Day on the couch binge-watching the new season of House of Cards.
Thank you for understanding I hate people but love pajamas
8. Your partner agrees that it is completely rational to drive through the night to DC to spend the weekend among your own kind.
30 libertarians in the same place? Pack your bags
9. You frequently see videos like this one and realize how lucky you were to have found each other.
If you are a friend of the free market who is dreading Valentine’s Day, take heart in hoping that your forever alone, socially awkward, closet case, or basement dweller is out there waiting to make all your dreams come true. Dating a libertarian (read: dating someone who understands you because they share your philosophical views) is worth a little bit of waiting.